SWT -콜롬버스 요약 좀 봐주세요 !

SWT -콜롬버스 요약 좀 봐주세요 !

2 유고걸 5 4,977 2018.08.27 08:54


첫번째 꺼는 원문이구요 

1.     The Story of Columbus 
 When Christopher Columbus arrived at Hispaniola during his first transatlantic voyage in the year A.D. 1492, the island had already been settled by Native Americans for about 5,000 years. The occupants in Columbus’s time were a group of Arawak Indians called Tainos who lived by farming, were organized into five chiefdoms, and numbered around half a million (the estimates range from 100,000 to 2,000,000). Columbus initially found them peaceful and friendly, until he and his Spaniards began mistreating them. 
Unfortunately for the Tainos, they had gold, which the Spanish coveted but didn’t want to go to the work of mining themselves. Hence the conquerors divided up the island and its Indian population among individual Spaniards, who put the Indians to work as virtual slaves, accidentally infected them with Eurasian diseases, and murdered them. By the year 1519, 27 years after Columbus’s arrival, that original population of half a million had been reduced to about 11,000, most of whom died that year of smallpox to bring the population down to 3,000. 

 

 

이건 제가 한번 요약한건데,, 확신이 안서네요 ㅜㅜ sample answer 찾다가 못찾아서 제가 해봤는데 부탁드릴게요 !

When Columbus arrived in island which was already settled by numbered half a million Indians called Tainos, after 27years, the population of Tainos had been decreased significantly due to infected particular diseases by mining gold as slaves.

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Lv.2 2 유고걸  실버
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pte 공부 화이팅 아자아자 열심히 해서 점수 받자

Comments

2 유고걸 2018.08.28 06:30
아무도 평가를.....흑흑 ㅠㅠ
7 페일핑크 2018.08.28 13:38
when Columbus arrived at Hispaniola, it was occupied by Tainos, and Columbus and his Spaniards began to divide up the island and put the Indians to work as virtual slaves since they do not want to go to the work of mining of the gold themselves, but Indian population died out within a few decades due to diseases and small pox, which forced the Spaniards to look elsewhere fro slave laborers.
Pte.ai에 나온 sample answer 입니다.
2 유고걸 2018.08.29 12:12
아 sample answer 가 있었군요 ㅋㅋ 감사합니다 !
6 사과만두 2018.08.28 21:08
Christopher Columbus arrived at Hispaniola during his first transatlantic voyage in the year A.D. 1492 which had already been settled by a group of Arawak Indians called Tainos, moreover, they had gold, which the Spanish coveted but didn’t want to go to the work of mining themselves, as a result, Spaniards put the Indians to work as virtual slaves, accidentally infected with Eurasian diseases, and murdered them, therefore, their population had been reduced.

저는 이렇게 했는데요,Hispaniola 이 섬이름이 명시가 되어야 할거같아요, particular diseases 보다는 Eurasian diseaeses, small pox 이렇게 확실히 적어주시는게 더 좋을것같아요.
After 27 years 다음에 언제 시점인지도 나와야할거같아요 since Columbus arrived the island 라던가 아니면

이 글에서 키워드는 Christoper Columbus, Hispaniola, Native Americans, Taino, Arawak Indians, Spaniards, gold, mining, conqueorors, virtual slaves, Eurasian diseases, small pox. 정도로 보이는데요 이것들을 대부분 명시해주어야 더 확실한 요약이 되는것같아요.

하지만....저도 뭐 이렇게 말할처지는 못됩니다...ㅠㅜ
2 유고걸 2018.08.29 13:26
조언 감사합니다 수정 해야겠네요 ! 도움되었습니다 ^^